


I didn’t know what love was until I met you

by spookyscaryiwachan



Category: Deadly Class (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, But mostly saya’s POV, Chico being a dick, F/F, Fluff, Heavy pining, Hurt/Comfort, Oral Sex, as usual, shifting pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-21 14:44:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18704437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyscaryiwachan/pseuds/spookyscaryiwachan
Summary: If they were different, in different situations - if they weren’t assassins, weren’t killers, then maybe, maybe they could have a chance. Saya has always said fuck being normal, but if it gave her Maria, she’d be the most ordinary and boring person ever.But nothing about them is normal, and Master Lin has told her one too many times that loving someone will be her own demise.





	I didn’t know what love was until I met you

**Author's Note:**

> This work contains smut!! It’s not explicit but it’s still there

“Saya... Saya!” There’s fingers clicking in her face, and when she comes to reality again, Maria is staring at her, with a furrow in her brow. 

 

“Yeah? What is it Maria?” 

 

She shrugs, “Well, nothing, but you weren’t paying attention to me.” 

 

“Yes I was.” 

 

She wasn’t. She’d gotten distracted, again. It’s just, when Maria is talking, or not talking, or just looking at something, Saya can’t help but be entranced. Maria is entrancing, she’s beautiful. It’s really hard not to stare at someone like her. 

 

She knows they could never be together. They’re from two very different criminal organisations, Maria’s in a relationship, they’re both _girls_ \- it would be impossible. Society wouldn’t allow it, their families wouldn’t allow it (who even knows if Maria is into women). 

 

If they were different, in different situations - if they weren’t assassins, weren’t killers, then maybe, maybe they could have a chance. Saya has always said fuck being normal, but if it gave her Maria, she’d be the most ordinary and boring person ever. 

 

But nothing about them is normal, and Master Lin has told her one too many times that loving someone will be her own demise. 

 

To review, a relationship with Maria isn’t something Saya can pursue it, so why is she even thinking about it?

 

Why does she allow herself to be kept up at night at the image of Maria smiling, that when Maria touches her, she feels the ghost of that warmth for the rest of the day. That’s she’s so in love with Maria, she doesn’t know when her feelings became more than a crush. 

 

Saya’s always been one to hide her feelings, and while she wishes she could be one of those people in films who never realise that they love someone until the very end, self-awareness is extremely crucial in assassination, so Saya has known since the first time her heart beat a little too quickly when Maria was around. 

 

“Saya! Hello? Are you serious?” Maria snaps, “Fine then. Since you’re not listening to me, I’m going to bail.”

 

“No no no no,” Maria gives her a weird look, which makes sense, because Saya has never sounded that desperate before, “I promise, I’m listening now.” 

 

Her eyes glint, “So you admit that you weren’t listening to me before?” Her tone worries Saya that she’s actually annoyed, but Maria’s small smirk says otherwise. 

 

Saya rolls her eyes. Seriously, what is it about Maria that makes her so unaware of everything? 

 

“It’s fine,” she laughs, “I’ve got to go anyway. Chico’s waiting, so...” 

 

Maria doesn’t finish her sentence. They haven’t spoken much about her and Chico, but Saya can tell it’s not like any normal relationship.

 

“I’ll see you later, right?” Maria asks. 

 

“Of course.” 

 

- 

 

They don’t actually see each other. It was dinner time when Saya noticed Maria and Chico leaving the school, and she never saw them after that. 

 

Once again, in the middle of the night, Saya is thinking about the conversations she had with Maria that day. It’s a nice way to fall asleep, when Maria the last thing on her mind. 

 

Except that it’s taking her way too long to fall asleep, and Saya can tell she’s probably not going to sleep at all if she doesn’t do anything. A late night shower could help relax her enough, maybe (there are no fights to get the bathroom, as there usually are in the morning) so she gathers her things, sneaks down the hallway.

 

At this time at night, it’s rare anyone will be in there, but, as Saya opens the door, she hears the tap running. 

 

There’s quiet sobbing, and Saya almost turns to leave. It’s a pretty awkward situation to be in, for both of them, but hopefully the crier will leave after Saya steps in (people are pretty intimidated by her). As she finally gathers the courage to go inside, the crying has stopped, and there’s a hiccup or two. 

 

As much as she tries to pretend there’s no one in with her, curiosity gets the better of her, and Saya decides to look at whoever is having a breakdown at three o’clock in the morning. 

 

The girl’s hair is dishevelled, her dark curls wild and her crimson headband out of place. She’s hunched over the sink, desperately washing something off her face. 

 

Saya’s heart stops, her lips parting to speak.

 

“What happened?” 

 

Maria gasps, obviously started, like she was so focused she hadn’t heard anyone come in. 

 

“Nothing.” She coughs, “It’s nothing.”  

 

Saya takes a hard look at her. She’s never seen her makeup look so messy, with mascara running down her cheeks, her signature red lipstick spread around her mouth. She’s still in the (very cute) dress Saya saw her leave in. Except, when she looks near the hem, there’s a sort of splatter. Maria’s looking at it too, biting her lip. 

 

“Not mine.” Her voice is trembling, like she’s one second away from breaking down again as she pushes past Saya.

 

“Maria! Wait!” 

 

She’s already out the door, her footsteps loud in the corridors, and Saya can’t bring herself to chase after her. Seeing her like that, is too painful. 

 

-

 

Saya didn’t get any sleep that night, and when she passes Maria between classes, it seems she suffered the same fate. 

 

She needs to know what happened. She would normally just find Maria, but somehow, even though they have different classes, Chico manages to be by her side, never leaving Maria alone. The only time there is no Chico with her is when Maria goes to the bathroom. Saya immediately follows. 

 

“Maria? I saw you come in here. We need to talk.” She checks the stalls, making sure that no one else is in there. 

 

Maria is also doing the same. She stands in front of Saya with her arms crossed. 

 

“What happened last night?” 

 

“I already told you.” She snaps, “It was nothing.” 

 

Saya fights the urge to snap at her that what she’s saying is bullshit. 

 

“There was blood on your dress.” Maria looks in the corner, and Saya can tell she wants the conversation to end as soon as possible. “We’re friends. You can trust me. You know that, right?” 

 

“I... I know that.” She wipes at her eyes, crossing her arms again after. She seems to really consider what Saya said, and after an agonising silence, she takes a deep breath, “It was... just a cartel thing. Except Chico didn’t tell me that’s what we were doing, when he said he wanted to take me out for dinner. It was so horrible, Saya, but it helped, seeing you last night.” It was nice to have a reminder that Chico isn’t the only person Maria has at Kings Dominion. She manages a smile, but Saya just frowns.

 

“Look, I know I’m not supposed to pry, but why do you stay with Chico, after everything he’s done to you?”

 

Maria smiles, sadly, “It’s complicated.”

 

“You hate him, don’t you?”

 

Maria’s lip’s purse. 

 

“Who doesn’t.”

 

Saya just stares at her, confused. Maria shifts uncomfortably - it’s common knowledge that she doesn’t like being questioned, and Saya has probably overstepped her boundaries. 

 

“Even if I did break up with Chico, which shouldn’t even matter to you,” Maria starts, her tone becoming defensive, “I’d never be able to escape him, Saya, or the cartel. There’s no saving me, and it would be easier if you tried not to care.”

 

Saya feels a rage come over her.

 

“I can’t do that. Maria, I can’t stand it when you’re with him. I can’t stand watching you with someone who doesn’t even care about what you want. You deserve so much more than Chico.” 

 

“You really think so? Really? I’m just as bad as he is. I’ve killed, I’ve hurt people.”

 

“At this school,” Saya scoffs, “we all have.” 

 

Maria shakes her head. 

 

“I’m _crazy_.”

 

Saya steps closer, until she is impossibly close to Maria. She brings a wavering hand to Maria’s face, cupping her cheek (Maria’s the one comfortable with touching others, not Saya, so it’s done with a bit of awkwardness). 

 

“You’re not crazy. You never have been. You’re _perfect_.” 

 

Maria’s expression is only hurt. 

 

“Please don’t say things like that, when we both know that it’s not true.” 

 

Saya knows there’s no way Maria can accept that yet, even though all she wants to do is scream that Maria is the most perfect person in the world.

 

“Things can getter better for you.” She tries, “Let me help you.” 

 

Maria’s hand goes to where Saya’s is, and when Saya thinks she’s going to pull her hand away from her, Maria just rests her palm against Saya’s hand, so that she’s cradling her face even more. She smiles. 

 

“Thank you, Saya.” 

 

Surprisingly, Maria doesn’t move. She grasps her hand tight, smiling, staring into Saya’s eyes. 

 

They keep eye contact - Maria is looking at her so intensely, it makes Saya feel like she could faint. 

 

Her heart is pounding, Maria’s eyes are flickering shut, she’s leaning in, slightly, and then...

 

Someone is banging loudly on the bathroom door.

 

“Maria!”

 

She immediately steps away from Saya, flinching at the sound of Chico’s voice. She stares at the door, and Saya grabs her hands, trying to soothe her.

 

“It’s okay, I’ll go out first.” Briskly, she walks to the door, seeing Chico just waiting there, “What the fuck are you doing?”

 

The glare he gives her is evil. “I’m just waiting for my girl. I saw her go in with you. Maria!” He shouts, hitting the door again, “Hurry the fuck up.”

 

“What is wrong with you! I swear you are such a piece of shit.” 

 

“Stay out of my business, Kuroki girl. Unless–”

 

“Unless what?”

 

The tension is thick, and Saya is seriously prepared for a fight, because he looks so angry and she is so done with him - she’ll put him in his place. 

 

She can’t, however, because Maria rushes out, looking over at them apprehensively as she stands between them.

 

“What was taking so long?”

 

“Sorry Chico,” She looks at Saya for a split second, then back to him, “it won’t happen again.”

 

“You’re right about that.”

 

Saya can’t watch any more. She takes a quick step towards him, flexing her hand to deliver the maximum damage she can. She’s about to, when suddenly Maria is grabbing her wrist. She shakes her head, mouthing ‘no’ when Chico’s head is turned. 

 

“Let’s go, Chico.”

 

They turn to leave, his arm going possessively around her shoulders, and Saya feels a pain in her chest at having to see Maria walk off with him again.

 

-

 

Lessons are finally over for the day, and Saya feels like shit. She hasn’t been able to stop thinking about Maria, how horrible it must be for her to be with someone she doesn’t love, how Saya promised to help Maria, and she doesn’t have any idea on how she can do that. 

 

She makes her way over to her locker, putting some of her books away. 

 

“Hola Saya.” 

 

She shuts the locker door way louder than she needed to, but it’s worth it to see Maria’s face. 

 

“Hey.” 

 

There’s no Chico with her, weirdly enough, but then Saya notices as Maria looks around her, and she guesses she managed to sneak away during dinner.

 

“Do you want to hang out tonight,” Maria says, “in my room?” 

 

As much as she wants to throw herself into Maria’s room (heaven, Saya could describe it as, because it’s the one place where Maria is everywhere), it’s not that simple. Saya looks at her skeptically. 

 

“What about Chico? We weren’t exactly on civil terms a few hours ago.” 

 

“He won’t be here tonight. He’s... got something to do.” At least this time, the cartel doesn’t need Maria to be with them. She’s free, even if it’s for only one night. 

 

Saya grins, brightly, “Then I’ll see you tonight.” 

 

Maria does this little thing, almost as if she’s watching Saya, trying to catch every little detail about her, and Saya has never seen Maria look at her this way before. 

 

“I can’t wait. See you later.” She gives her usual flirty wave before she walks off, leaving Saya breathless. 

 

Spending evenings with Maria is always great. It’s just the two of them - talking, laughing, dancing. They have nowhere to be, no responsibilities, so Maria always dresses comfortably - low cut shirts and dresses. And knowing that Chico won’t be able to interrupt them makes everything so much better. 

 

When Saya gets back to her room, she embarrassingly tries to pick out clothes more decent than her usual style. Before Chico interrupted, it seemed like something was going to happen, and although Saya has been telling herself she can’t ever have a chance with Maria, she thinks she deserves to try. 

 

-

 

The music is already playing when Saya knocks on the door. Maria answers, immediately grabbing Saya’s hand and twirling her inside. 

 

“Saya! Hey! Are you excited for our girls’ night?” 

 

“Am I ever,” She laughs, lifting her arm to twirl Maria as well. 

 

“Good.” She pulls her over to the bed, turning down the music first. “I just wanted to talk to you first.” 

 

“Yeah, sure. What about?” 

 

Maria hesitates, before continuing, “When we were together, earlier, were you really going to hit Chico?” 

 

“Yeah,” she admits, regretfully, “I’m sorry though.” She should’ve thought about what she was going to do - things would only have been worse for Maria if she had actually done it. 

 

“Don’t be.” 

 

“You were right to stop me.” 

 

“Believe me, I wish I didn’t.”

 

They laugh, and then Maria turns on the music again.

 

Maria loves dancing, and because of that, Saya does too. She loves everything about the way Maria’s body sways to the music, how her lovely, thick curls bounce around, how Maria always looks the most blissful she could be.

 

They dance, and dance, holding each other the entire time. Saya has lost count of the songs that have played, and when the music stops, both of them are panting. 

 

“Don’t you just _love_ dancing?” Maria asks, giggling.

 

“Only if you’re my partner.” 

 

Saya can’t stop smiling. This is what she loves the most. When there’s nothing holding them back, no gangs, no expectations, and they can be who they truly are together. 

 

When Maria speaks next, her voice lowers, like their conversation is a private one, like no one else should be able to hear what she’s saying to Saya.  

 

“Saya, I... want to thank you for standing up for me.” 

 

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re my best friend. You mean the world to me.” 

 

“I feel the same way. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

 

The way she’s looking at her, so vulnerably, makes Maria look so beautiful. 

 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you either.” She whispers. 

 

It’s quick, but Saya notices. Maria’s eyes flicker to her lips, and Saya’s sick of holding herself back. 

 

She steps even closer to Maria, and Maria follows. Maria reaches out for her hand, clutches it. There’s no way Saya’s imagining this. 

 

Everything would change, but maybe it could change for the better.

 

So fuck it. 

 

She leans in slow, just to give Maria time to move away, but Maria just stands still. When Saya looks up, Maria has her eyes closed, a waiting expression on her features. 

 

Saya’s heart is beating harder than it ever has before. 

 

“Are you sure?” 

 

Maria sucks in a breath, her own hand grasping Saya’s short hair. 

 

“Please.” 

 

Who is she to deny Maria anything.

 

When their lips touch, it’s the most perfect thing in the world. Maria makes a small noise, sinking into the kiss, and Saya just grips her tighter. 

 

“Wow,” she says, when they break apart.

 

“Wow.” Maria echos her, then pulls her in again for more.

 

Kissing Maria is addictive, Saya can’t stop, she doesn’t want to stop, all she wants is to hold Maria forever, and it seems she feels the same way, by the way her hands grip Saya’s cheek as their kisses get more intense.

 

They stumble around the room, unable to break away from each other, until they reach the bed. Maria lightly pushes Saya onto the soft mattress and silky duvet, crawling on top of her. 

 

At that moment, Saya feels she could die happy - with Maria’s warmth all around her, feeling her weight on top of her, just Maria overloading her senses. 

 

Her hands go round to Maria’s waist, slipping up just slightly, so that she is gripping her bare skin. Using their positions, Saya flips their position, and Maria sits up slightly, allowing Saya to grab her shirt and slip it over her head. 

 

She needs a moment, just to stare at Maria. Her smooth, perfect skin, glowing, enticing her. It’s not like Saya has never seen Maria in just a bra (the showers are hardly private), but it’s the first time it’s ever been just for her. 

 

Her red lipstick is smudged, her lips swollen, and Saya wants to ruin her more. 

 

She kisses her again, her lips slowly travelling from Maria’s jawline to her neck. Maria grips Saya’s head, holding her there, as if Saya would ever stop, not when Maria’s breathing starts to become laboured when Saya traces her nose along her collarbone. 

 

Even though she wants to leave hickeys on Maria’s neck, she can’t – they’re too noticeable, and she knows this’ll have to be a secret between them. 

 

She’ll just have to settle for something else. 

 

Her hands snake behind her back, finding her bra clasp. She pauses, looking at Maria. Her blue eyes are shining, and Saya is drowning. 

 

“Can I?” 

 

Maria nods, her head shaking frantically. There’s nothing she’s wanted more than to just feel Saya. 

 

Saya leans back after unclasping, watching as Maria slides the straps down her shoulders. Her breath hitches, Saya’s stare burning deep into her. 

 

She doesn’t know what it’s like for someone to stare at her and truly find all of her beautiful. Sure, she’s always been known as the pretty one at school, but that doesn’t matter, not when everyone thinks she’s insane. But Saya, the way she looks at her, makes Maria feel powerful and important, not just a rug for Chico to walk all over or a weapon for the cartel to use. 

 

She truly feels loved. 

 

“I’ve never known someone as beautiful as you.” Saya says, and Maria feels a sudden urge come over her.

 

“I need to see you too.” 

 

She reaches for Saya’s shirt, pulling it up, slowly exposing her skin and tattoos. Maria runs her hands along her stomach and sides, while Saya tries to hide how nice it feels, to have Maria touching her like this after months of dreaming about it.

 

Maria falls back down on the bed, pulling Saya with her, her arms caging Maria as she supports herself.

 

Slowly, she lowers herself, her voice low in Maria’s ear, 

 

“What do you want me to do to you?” She wants to know what Maria likes, to know exactly what to do that will leave Maria breathless and sated, but she just goes quiet.

 

“I... I don’t know.” Maria doesn’t know what she likes, because she’s never had someone to guide her, who genuinely cared about her pleasure. 

 

It’s been a while since she’s felt anything with anyone, until Saya. When Chico kisses her, she only feels like crying. Whenever he does anything else, she just waits for it to be over.

 

With Saya, she feels like she’s starting fresh. She’s never been with a woman, she’s never been with someone she actually has a connection with, and after all she has done with Saya so far, she doesn’t know what comes next. 

 

“We don’t have to do this if you’re not sure.” Maybe Maria’s starting to have doubts, since she’s been quiet for far too long, and Saya needs Maria to know that she doesn’t have to do anything she doesn't want to. 

 

“It’s not that. I want to Saya, so, so much. I want to take this step with you. It’s just...” She looks up into Saya’s eyes, and Saya understands. Maria, admitting she doesn’t have a clue on what to do, that she wants Saya to take the lead, to teach her.

 

“It’s okay.” she strokes Maria’s cheek, “Lie down.”

 

Maria listens, closing her eyes as she feels Saya shifting around the rest of her clothing. She takes a deep breath of anticipation, feeling her nerves frying as Saya shifts to the end of the bed, lowering herself to Maria. 

 

Maria is a very expressive person, but Saya didn’t expect Maria do be this responsive to her.

 

She just can’t stay still - she moans, whines, whimpers, and when Saya does something new, she just melts, over and over. 

 

“Don’t stop. Never stop.” Maria cries, and Saya almost scoffs, because she doesn’t think she could if she wanted.

 

At one point, she’s muttering in Spanish, and Saya desperately wants to know what she’s saying, has never wanted to understand Spanish more than that moment. 

 

At least her name sounds the same in both languages. 

 

Maria’s struggling for breath as Saya continues her ministrations. She’s never felt like this, grasping at the bedsheets, because she needs something to hold on to, lest she floats out of her own body. She doesn’t know if she’s ever felt like this, so, so...

 

Her voice rises, her eyes squeeze tight, she’s scrabbling at anything, and Saya keeps going throughout it all. Saya, the future valedictorian, the star student, getting A’s in all her classes, has never felt so proud of herself, for making Maria happy (and she hopes she can do more of that soon).

 

Afterwards, Maria feels boneless, blissful. 

 

Saya can see she’s too tired to barely move, so she takes the duvet, pulling it over her, sitting close. She almost thinks Maria’s fallen asleep, but then she feels her searching for her hand.

 

“Lie with me.” Maria murmurs, and Saya doesn’t hesitate to climb into the bed, turning to face her. 

 

“You are so beautiful, Maria.”

 

“You are too.” 

 

They’re quiet, content with just looking at one another. Then, Maria starts to trace over the tattoos on Saya’s arm. Her fingers swipe delicately, over every curve, over every design on her arm. 

 

Saya hums with approval, very much enjoying the peaceful scene. 

 

However, when Maria slides over to her chest, tracing the patterns on her collarbones, it’s hard to concentrate anymore, especially when Maria’s hand lies flat against her chest.

 

“Your heart is beating so fast.” 

 

“Sorry.” 

 

Maria rolls her eyes kindly, lightly pinching Saya’s cheek, before going back to her tattoos. They’re art, perfect art - Saya is art, she was made to be admired, and Maria finally has an opportunity to do just that. 

 

Saya shivers, releasing a shaky breath, goosebumps prickling on her skin. It occurs to Maria that in what they have done, Saya hasn’t benefited at all. 

 

And she wants to so bad, wants to touch Saya, make her feel just as she made Maria feel, but she doesn’t have any clue on how to reciprocate (she never even thought about women in that way until Saya). 

 

Saya notices when Maria’s hand simply rests on her chest, that Maria is deep in thought. She sees the guilty expression she’s wearing, how she’s looking at Saya, and then she makes the connection. 

 

“It’s okay, Maria. You don’t have to worry about doing... _this_ back yet. But,” she takes Maria’s hand, placing it on her own cheek, “if you were going to, just do to me what you’d do to yourself.” Maria guesses it makes sense. Who better to navigate a woman’s body than another woman?

 

Maria ponders, and then she brings herself against Saya, hard, almost knocking her down with the force. She reaches recklessly for her, as her fingers reach into the hem of Saya’s pants, kissing her messily. 

 

She’s hesitant, but also somehow direct. She strokes, clumsily, just a bit rougher than Saya is used to (not that she minds), but it doesn’t matter. Quickly, her breathing turns laboured, she’s losing her senses, and it only gets worse when Maria can see her effects on Saya. She grows firmer, more confident, more determined - she leans closer, nipping her teeth along Saya’s neck, a hand going to palm at her bra. All the stimulation makes Saya shake. Then, Maria just does something, and Saya breaks, grasping Maria’s wrist, so she doesn’t stop. She chases the feeling, and when the world finally comes back to her, she sees Maria staring at her, with wide eyes and parted lips, like she’s in awe. 

 

When Maria pulls her fingers away, she finds they are glistening. She holds her hand still, with a sort of awkwardness, because what is she supposed to do with Saya’s... It’s a little embarrassing, but, luckily, Saya saves her, grabbing her own t-shirt to wipe at Maria’s hand. Maria blushes, and when Saya is done she throws the shirt to the floor and takes Maria’s hand. 

 

“Don’t you need something to wear outside?”

 

“Shit!” It’s not like she can walk around the halls wearing a t-shirt with _that_ on it, especially if she’s coming out of Maria’s room. 

 

“Don’t worry, you can borrow something of mine, cariño.” 

 

Maria chuckles as Saya’s fingers stroke soothingly along her knuckles, and Maria finds herself leaning in, sweetly planting her lips on Saya’s. 

**Author's Note:**

> Cariño - darling 
> 
> Honestly Maria and Saya have such a cute dynamic and there aren’t that many fics for them so I wanted to try my hand.


End file.
